Forget Instagram or TikTok, here’s a better way to secure your own 15 seconds of fame: a premature Super Bowl tattoo!
You’ll be the undisputed king of football when you cop some ‘sick’ ink at the start of the season, and the laughing stock of the internet midway through December when your beloved Jacksonville Jaguars are eliminated from the playoffs.
Every year some hero jumps the gun and brands his body with a cringe-worthy tatt in a desperate attempt to try and gain some clout, and as expected, this year hasn’t been any different.
Here’s a look at some of the all-time Worst Early Crow Super Bowl Tattoos we could find on Pinterest, the ‘Gram, or wherever else people make a fool of themselves.
Nobody Circles the Wagons Like the Buffalo Bills
Now here’s a bloke thinking two steps ahead. The rug on the right suggests this once-proud Bills tatt is now covered by a fine layer of fuzz. Good thing, too. The last time Comic Sans was cool also coincides with the same time the Bills last played in the Super Bowl (1994).
Run and Done? I’ll Pass
There isn’t enough beer in the world that could make this any better.
Stick to Hockey
These are two separate tattoos of equal hilarity. The one on the left is particularly great because the Lions went 5-11 in 2005 with Joey Harrington and Jeff Garcia under centre – meaning this poor sap went all-in well before the season even started.
Philly (Is) Special
This is just Philly sports to a tee. One minute they’re throwing batteries, the next they’re a dynasty in the making. Also, where actually is this tattoo? If that’s a shoulder, it’s a little too hairy for my liking.
The Sheriff Strikes Back
Peyton Manning, we thank you.
This one has aged just as well as Baker Mayfield’s career.
My collarbone hurts just looking at this.
It Doesn’t Hurt to Dream
All ten Cardinal fans must have loved it when Joe Bob whipped this out at the tailgate!
Listen to this guy, kids. Aim low. So low no one will even care if you succeed.
Lamest Show on Turf
This is actually a great memento. The ‘L’ stands for loss and the “III” stands for the measly field goal the Rams managed against the Patriots a few years back.
Bulls on Parade
A nice portrait of Deshaun Watson should cover this up nicely. Wait…
A Series of Unfortunate Events
Two words: Dad material.
One to Show the Grandkids
It’s not an early crow, but hey, he speaks for everybody.
How to Jag a Cougar
This tat and the iconic 2003 web belt. Ladies, get in line.
A Serious Case of Gang Green
Here’s a winning combination – the Jets’ 1978 logo mixed in with a very memorable 4-12 season.
Not Horsin’ Around
Peyton Manning owes you a Coke.